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I saw an advert in gmail this morning for "Blogging Evolved" and that may have just made my day.

Now, it really was just -- nothing is ever as good as its title implies -- an advert for a service that designs you a professional online journal (I have never been able to use the word blog since I first asked someone what one was when I was seventeen. Blog is a horrible word that inspires in me visions of grey, overdone pork chops and humid swamps. Some would say this is not an inaccurate definition anyway).

But just think about the concept of journal evolution. And not even in the Harry Potter sense of "omfg this journal talks back to me" but in the Matinee sense of "Man has meddled in Godapos;s Plan and created a monster which will lay waste to Tokyo/Chicago/New York City." Directed, of course, by Bert I. Gordon.

The monstrous LiveJournals rears its ugly head as it emerges from the swamp, its face a terrible caricature of humanity represented by a [info]potterpuffs icon, emo song lyrics streaming from its mouth, slaying its first victim (Teen Girl In Broken Down Hot Rod in the credits) with a large-graphic meme. Nothing can stop it Servers nationwide scream and fail as it passes, sucking bandwidth with it, headed for San Francisco.

A team of valiant young userpic artisans try to get the governmentapos;s attention, but they are scoffed at; the Army has more important things on its mind Even invoking the Patriot Act does nothing Mwahahahaha They must don "Iapos;m Blogging This" t-shirts and Ray-Bans and go to battle the beast itself, armed only with Adobe Photoshop and Semagic V. 1.2.1.

Will they succeed? Will they fail? Will they be [info]metaquotesed? Coming soon to a cinema near you, itapos;s --

THE CREATURE FROM THE BLOG LAGOON

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