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Two things weigh heavily on my shoulders. I think about it almost everyday... Sometimes it brushes by me for a few seconds and goes away, but sometimes it hits me hard and I will obsess about it inwardly until I just cry. One of those things being the incompletion of my Masterapos;s degree. The other being how Iapos;ve let myself go with my fitness level and weight. I worked hard for both, and both, in some way or another, I walked away from. While Iapos;m half-heartedly trying to get my fitness, Iapos;ve almost completely ignored my degree. Three and a half years ago I told everyone Iapos;m going to go to grad school and get my Masterapos;s. I still say that Iapos;m going to get my degree. But my voice is weaker and less confident now. When I show up to the university, people ask why Iapos;m there. I am no longer part of the community of my department. Last summer, I was in the greatest shape of my life. I was 4 inches taller and 50lbs less than what I was when I was 11. I could jog a several miles or bike 50 miles after a 10 hour day of river snorkeling at work. I promised myself I would maintain that feeling. Now I feel tired most the time and just canapos;t keep up even though I know I could if I tried harder. There is more to this than people may think. I see this things as major flaws in my character. Excluding minor day-to-day plans... When I make plans, serious endeavors, I always stick to them. I consider myself relatively successful because of this. Up to this recent time at least. It really hurts me to give up in this way. I really do feel like Iapos;m failing myself. I realize it is not too late. Especially for increasing my fitness. But it is almost too late to get my degree. I can still do it, but it is going to be extremely hard to get back into it and put aside time to focus. I feel lost, but Iapos;m hoping that once I throw myself out there that things will just fall in place as I move forward. *** Today I cried at numerous moments to the sound of country music in my truck. Country music in general makes me cry.� But this was different. I found myself being torn apart.� An overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and all the things and people Iapos;ve lost. Then there was another feeling that was almost indistinguishable.� I only caught it while�I was reading my book and made the connection. Another overwhelming feeling... That of renewed empowerment. I donapos;t know for what purpose yet, but for seconds at a time, I felt I could do anything and was invincible. If you asked me in that moment... I would confidently tell you that I had superpowers. �

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Baby, donapos;t be that way. You know I love you.

I mean, sure, I started with Laughing Skull, but then I took my 9 month break... And when I came back, it was to you, baby.

And, okay, so sometimes I run around in Cairne and Proudmoore, but a girl has needs NEEDS, I say Needs that you canapos;t fulfill when youapos;re down (and not in the "on your knees like a two dollar whore" way, either >_>).

I canapos;t stand it, baby. You know I need you, now more than ever (mostly because Iapos;m anxious to respec all of my toons).

/in before the QQ: yeah, Iapos;m a dork, sue me - playing Too Human can only keep me sane for so long T__T

tl;dr - plz come back up soon Anvilmar - I miss you
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So I was on myspace and shit and I happen to come across our candidates. I checked Obama, I wasenapos;t impressed not at all. He has this fucking Middle Class Plan thats supposed too help, well middle class working families.� Seems like a decant plan, but Oh yeah right; Where Is the MONEY?� Whenever I have watched some Obama-Mccain debates. They both talk about the same shit it looks. It just seems like they know we have a problem, but they donapos;t know how too fix it.

Iapos;m not voting Obama, Iapos;m Not Voting Mccain. My vote goes for Ralph Nader, he knows what the fuck is up. Corporate sponsors were at the Democratic National convention and most likely at the republican National Convention as well. Basically he was saying that Obama and Mccain are both corporate puppets, and watch out.

What about the energy crisis? well Nader said he would switch to better fuel efficient appliances, switch to Solar power over nuclear power because Solar power is more effective since there is no waste that Nuclear power leaves, and plus can help out our air and could prevent Global warming. Too me, Nader actually seems like he knows what hes going too do unlike Obama and Mccain.

I could go on more and more about Raplh Nader But go too VoteNader.org and see more for yourself.

RALPH NADER, PUT THAT FUCKER WITH MCCAIN AND OBAMA IN A DEBATE....HE WILL STOMP THEM MOTHERFUCKERS DOWN.
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So, I got an email a couple of days ago saying�In-N-Outapos;s 60th Anniversary�was coming up and theyapos;d be selling their food at their "original prices" from back in the old times. Like 25 cents for a hamburger and 15 cents for a milkshake.
Then, I see a new email saying it was all a rumor and everything will remain at its normal price.
I am so pissed off right now. I was looking forward to it. I was planning on bringing a piggy bank and buying tens and tens of cheeseburgers to last me a lifetime.

People are so cruel.

I was this close >������ <� to getting a buzzcut last night. A couple of my friends were getting designs and shit shaved into their heads. Adam got this sick spiderweb. Gage got some stripes and checkers. We were joking around, saying I should get a swastika and have "WHITE�POWER" shaved in.
But that wouldnapos;t be too wise.�

Note to self: Next time Gage sack-taps you, kick his ass.
�

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Itapos;s me, Sara. I am starting to blog again, simply out of the desire to have my thoughts recorded. Not all will be purely personal, but I think it is time for me to start writing again. Just as an outlet.

I used to have a xanga for years, but after a while, most of my friends, save the precious one or two decided to leave xanga once myspace came around.�I have a myspace, and a facebook, but now I am going to have this space to myself. Feel free to comment or read as much as you want or as little. This is a means to boost creativity.

Today, is Tuesday, my one day off until Sunday. I sell shoes at an upscale department store here in Saginaw, where I�live. Itapos;s a job where I�feel can stunt a persons growth unless they find some way to work outside of it. A lot of people I�deal with on an everyday basis can be rude or snobby. I cant help it, I�just work there. Although the one thing that DOES really bother me is that I work full time, with benefits yet week after week, since I�work on commission, my paychecks put me well below the poverty line of income. It can be frustrating and exhausting. Thats one reason why I live with my mom. Another reason is because its convenient to live at home :) But one day soon I will get away lol

I�have younger sisters--Ruth, Angela, Hannah and Stephanie who is a stepsister. But I grew up viewing life as an only child with my mother who raised me as a single-mom in the 90apos;s. Things usually go smoothly at our house. I also have a toy poodle, which my friends and coworkers will tell you I absolutely adore. His official name is Maxx Gonzalez, but he has many nicknames, most notorious as Poochie.

There are a lot of things on my mind and so I intend to write them out here in this journal. I was the kid in class who was always bad at the morning daily class assignment, simply because it involved routine and I donapos;t normally enjoy routine--but I�will try my best.

It is a beautiful autumn day today, not a cloud in the sky. The trees are becoming more and more noticeably engulfed in color. Raging reds, vibrant yellows and greens. I love it so much. Its probably the best season to be in Michigan.�Sweater weather is awesome

I will update in the days to come :D

Iapos;m a little anxious, antsy, somewhat depressed for certain reasons I wont mention here, but I have been praying a lot that God will give me direction and guidance in my life.I also know that feelings are temporary and change.�

I�know I am absolutely imperfect and without His grace, I am nothing. I pray that his favor will be with me, my family and friends as we continue to grow in Him. May my imperfection be used for His infinite, and perfect glory.

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Where the twits donapos;t fly, I do.

• 10:55 I want to go back to bed. Can I please? No? Okay.
• 12:34 Because my day wasnapos;t already busy enough, T-Mobile has been so kind as to throw a huge wrench in the works.
• 12:34 *insert string of nasty expletives here*
• 14:08 Testing.
• 15:28 Because dealing with T-Mobile wasnapos;t enough drama, now my laptop is misbehaving again. Boo to Monday
• 18:32 Going to see Quarantine with Cody and Bobby.
• 19:09 Iapos;m feeling anti-social, a tad mental. Perhaps tonight wasnapos;t the best choice for group movie night.
• 19:34 Slightly better mood now. Maybe it was the lack of food.
• 21:36 Quarantine scared the shit outta me. Literally. :(
• 22:04 A friend of my roommate made him a cd of so-called Britpop. More like Tweefop.

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I dreamt I was in a minimum security prison and was digging out big tile+sponge like walls under a desk. I also had a door with a peephole and someone knocked on it with long hair and a leather coat. I told him to come in after scrambling to apos;coverapos; what would be a hole and the guy comes in brandishing a pair of scissors. Asks me about my car outside. I tell him that I let someone in Cambridge borrow it ---- I donapos;t know where it is. He shows me the bladed end of the scissors, I infer that Iapos;m gonna get stabbed unless I give him my keys, so I do so; continuing to insist that the car is in Cambridge (though it was really just outside, I guess). Weapos;re both very apos;cordialapos;, and he puts away his scissors and walks for the door. I ask him if I can rent anything, because I guess heapos;s in apos;chargeapos; of the prison. He tells me that anything thatapos;s wanted, I can get. I think about how a Fisher Price flashlight is not going to cut it for making this escape tunnel; even if itapos;s just like, a house.

I wake up after digging some more and listening to conversations of some of the other inmates.

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